Making Your 1:1s Count
Making Your 1:1s Count
You have a weekly 1:1 with your manager. Sometimes it’s useful. Often it’s status updates that could have been an email. Occasionally it gets canceled. You leave most meetings feeling like you didn’t accomplish much.
1:1s are one of the most valuable tools for career growth—when used well. They’re dedicated time with someone who influences your work, career, and compensation. Here’s how to make them actually count.
What 1:1s Are For
Primary Purposes
Career development:
- Discussing your growth and goals
- Getting feedback on your performance
- Planning your path forward
Relationship building:
- Building trust with your manager
- Being known as a person, not just a role
- Creating psychological safety
Problem solving:
- Addressing blockers and challenges
- Getting coaching on difficult situations
- Navigating organizational complexity
Alignment:
- Understanding priorities and expectations
- Raising concerns before they become problems
- Ensuring you’re focused on what matters
What 1:1s Are NOT For
- Status updates: Use async channels for project updates
- Work discussion only: Don’t skip growth conversations
- One-way information flow: It’s a conversation, not a report
- Complaints without action: Focus on what can be done
Owning Your 1:1s
Come Prepared
Before each 1:1:
- Review what you discussed last time
- Identify topics you need to cover
- Prioritize—you won’t cover everything
- Prepare specific questions or asks
Maintain a Running Document
Keep a shared doc with your manager:
- Topics for next 1:1 (add throughout the week)
- Notes from previous 1:1s
- Action items and their status
- Long-term goals and progress
Drive the Agenda
Don’t wait for your manager to lead:
- Start with your most important topic
- Be specific about what you need (advice, decision, visibility)
- Keep discussion focused
- Transition when a topic is resolved
Topics to Cover Regularly
Weekly/Bi-weekly
- Current blockers and challenges
- Wins and learnings
- Questions or clarifications
- Feedback on recent work
Monthly
- Progress toward goals
- Relationship with team
- Workload and sustainability
- Upcoming opportunities or challenges
Quarterly
- Career development discussion
- Performance feedback
- Goal setting and adjustment
- Bigger picture alignment
Getting Better Feedback
Ask Specific Questions
Instead of “Do you have any feedback?”, try:
- “What’s one thing I could have done better on [specific project]?”
- “How am I tracking toward [specific goal]?”
- “What’s the most important skill I should develop?”
- “What would make the difference between my current level and the next?”
Make Feedback Safe
- React gracefully to constructive feedback
- Thank your manager for honest input
- Follow up on feedback received
- Show that feedback leads to change
Seek Positive Feedback Too
- “What am I doing well that I should continue?”
- “Where have I exceeded expectations?”
- “What impact have you seen from my work?”
Career Conversations
Sharing Your Goals
Be explicit about what you want:
- “I’m interested in [specific opportunity]”
- “My goal is to be promoted to [level] by [timeframe]”
- “I’d like to develop skills in [area]”
- “I’m interested in transitioning to [role/specialty]”
Getting Actionable Guidance
Move from vague to specific:
- “What specifically would I need to demonstrate for promotion?”
- “What opportunities could help me develop [skill]?”
- “Who should I connect with to learn about [area]?”
- “What would you need to see to support my advancement?”
Creating Accountability
- Document career goals in shared doc
- Set specific milestones
- Review progress regularly
- Follow up on promised opportunities
Navigating Difficult Topics
Raising Concerns
When something is wrong:
- Be direct but constructive
- Focus on impact and specifics
- Propose solutions where possible
- Be clear about what you’re asking for
Compensation Discussions
- Prepare with market data
- Focus on your value and contributions
- Be specific about your ask
- Understand the timeline and process
Disagreements
- Seek to understand their perspective first
- Present your view calmly with evidence
- Know when to push and when to accept
- Disagree and commit when needed
When 1:1s Aren’t Working
Common Problems
Frequently canceled:
- Express that 1:1s are valuable to you
- Request they be protected/prioritized
- Propose alternative times if needed
All status updates:
- Push status to async communication
- Come with different topics prepared
- Explicitly request career/growth discussion time
Manager does all the talking:
- Ask to go first with your topics
- Prepare specific questions
- Set agenda in advance
No useful feedback:
- Ask more specific questions
- Request feedback on specific work
- Make it safe to give honest feedback
For Different Manager Styles
Busy/Distracted Manager
- Come highly prepared with clear priorities
- Get to the point quickly
- Follow up on action items in writing
- Protect the time aggressively
Hands-off Manager
- Be proactive about asking for what you need
- Bring specific questions, not open-ended ones
- Create your own structure
- Report wins and progress actively
New Manager
- Use early 1:1s to establish relationship
- Share your working style and preferences
- Be explicit about your goals and history
- Help them understand the team context
Making It Happen
Your 1:1s are only as good as the effort you put in. Starting this week:
- Create a shared running document if you don’t have one
- Add topics as they come up during the week
- Prepare for 5 minutes before each 1:1
- Drive the agenda—don’t wait for your manager
- Follow up on action items and discussions
Regular, well-run 1:1s compound over time. The relationship you build, the feedback you receive, and the advocacy you generate all depend on making these meetings count.